Thursday, April 27, 2017

Being that clay in the potter's very own hands : regain your true identity in Christ


Don't exactly know when you'll get the opportunity to read this but as for right now as I'm writing this post the sun is shining ever so brightly outside my window! There's something mesmerizing about the sun that usually leaves us feeling a certain type of way isn't it? To be honest I'm an autumn and spring kind of girl I like it in between not too hot nor too cold so I'm absolutely enjoying the weather this days.
There's two sisters of mine in Christ who are getting married in a couple of weeks time. Me and some other sisters will be ushering during this event. We've (or should I say they've) decided on the print for our uniforms... Being the talker that I am when I'm comfortable that is but yet a very deep thinker during all the wed prep talks the Lord drew my attention to something. One of the future wives to be desired for us to wear a gele on her special day but many only God knows why objected her request. Jesus came to serve (cater to others needs) and in my opinion every Christian should be like minded. We should take Jesus' example and say "not mine but let your will be done" regardless what we might want or need in order to be content and learn to put others needs before our very own (if it doesn't put your relationship with the Lord at stake of course). Nobody perfect out here I'm still learning and trying to better my own Christian walk every single day so don't go thinking Miss know it all. It takes a lot of will power and effort for one to step out of their comfort zone but for the love of Christ we must let God have his way with us.We ought to live for the one who died for our sins...

I've been putting myself out there a little more lately, been more active on certain social media interacting with people who have the same interest as me (Christ and blogging ofcourse). After a session of chatting away with another blogger, I took the time to visit her blog and came across an article she wrote about self-worth. I knew at some point I would be discussing this topic too. I already had my post title saved in my unpublished post list but just didn't get round finishing the post. Her article actually gave me the boost I needed to finish off my own.

As sad and unrealistic as it may sound to some with all honesty I can't come up with a top five happy moments list of things that have marked my childhood. On the other hand if you'd ask me to name ten really sad moments in less than five minutes I'd be able to come up with the double. The first years of a child's existence have been scientifically proven to be very crucial for its development and what would later in life characterize them as an individual. The enemy knew by playing the card of molestation and mentally/physical abuse with me he'd be able to destroy my self-worth. I've struggled since a very young age with my weight and heard over and over again as an outcome of this subliminally how I didn't look the part. Every time we went hunting for a party dress I would get yelled at because the pretty dresses wouldn't fit me. I recall having all my hair shaved off at the age of eight just because the day before I accidently got a comb stuck in my hair and was too scared to ask for help  and ended cutting a little piece of my own hair off. I recall getting pepper put in my eyes and down there if you know what I mean because of the simple fact that I was petrified to sleep alone in the dark. I recall spending days at my aunt's place when my mum was away and how she would behind my back only give spending money to my cousin because as my cousin quoted I would only spend it on sweets and get even more fat. As you can imagine all this negativity contributed in more than just one way to my lack of self-worth, confidence, anger outbursts and poor communication skills. Whether you call this being misfortunate or not I today know that this was the enemy's devious plan in order to destroy me as a person.

I find myself trying so hard to fit in and please others without giving all I could risk loosing a second thought. Putting the needs of others before my own faith and beliefs, saying yes when I really and truly wanted to say no. I lost myself and simply wanted to belong, wanted to be loved, to be noticed. The tragic occurrences before me accepting the Lord as my personal Savior stole away my true identity my self-worth. But hey what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right? For those who've been through various hard-knock life situations themselves your self-worth has most likely been affected too. Here's the good news where there's life there's hope God is able to restore you! He promises us that all things with him become something new. In him you can become who he always intended for you to be. The better version of you!

Today I'm under construction, I'm that clay in the mighty hands of my Father being remoulded back into my original state! His shaping me into that utensil I ought to be. Be honest with yourself what has the world broken in you that needs repairing? What has caused you to loose your self-worth and your integrity? It could be family issues, a relationship gone wrong, sexual/physical or verbal abuse to name a few. Don't let your past, failures, sufferings, pain hold you back from becoming the person God intended you to be initially. Refuse to let your past encounters stand in the way of who you truly ought and want to be. It's a process and like any other process it will take some time but eventually with God's help we will get there.

God gave me a vision five years ago when I was newly converted. At night while I was sleeping (let me go all spiritual on you guys) the Lord came and put me in a furnace. In my dream the furnace was really hot it was unbearable but something within me gave me the strength to endure the heat. Once put inside the furnace the furnace became another universe I saw people I knew in there we were like in a sort of a board game all trying to move forward towards the finish line. Some were stuck at a certain level and couldn't move forward. By God's grace I made it to the end and was transported to another place and there before me ahead of me was a very bright light. Every time I have my down moments I remind myself of this dream and say out loud or in my prayer who started this work within me will finish it. With God all things are possible we must just do our part give him our hearts. The bible is filled with so many empowering words that will make you realize just how beautiful and precious you are. I could write a few on here but I'd prefer for you to go and do your own research. Take those words in let them transform the way you see yourself. Know that He is able to do a new thing for you... in you... with you that is if you will allow him.

May Jesus finish the masterpiece his started in the lives of all who've allowed him in their heart. His knocking at you door if you haven't allowed him in yet... What are you waiting for?

Sealed with love,
T.H.O.A.W.W.P.

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